I noticed a transgender man heading for the dressing room in the women’s clothing store I was shopping at. How did I respond? Read on…
I know I’m sticking my head out there, but I’ve been concerned by some of the quotes I’ve heard from other Christians about the whole Target bathroom situation and the North Carolina HB2 law. Things like: “All they want to do is just go to the bathroom!” or “Why can’t we just love them? Jesus would.” While these statements are valid, I believe there’s much more to it than just “loving them like Jesus does” (to borrow the cliche).
I could go on a tangent about how ridiculous the Target bathroom issue is. It is absurd that the rights of less than 4% of the population trumps the rights of the other 96%. What about the rights of millions of women who are not comfortable sharing a bathroom with men? What about the rights of the victims that will result from molesters having unquestioned access to the restrooms?
But let’s talk a minute about the deeper issue. The transgender individuals. Let me begin by saying that I am human and recognize that I am not infallible, so I am open to other ideas on this. However, I’ve had years of relating closely with homosexual women and girls within the prison systems. I’ve heard their heart wrenching stories of abuse and mistreatment that opened their hearts to the attraction of the same sex. I have always reached out in compassion and acceptance of them—without condoning their sin. And I’ve found that when I lovingly listen to their hearts, and show them God’s love, they themselves confess that their lifestyle is wrong. It’s sin. And most of them know it. When I allow Jesus to be seen through me, He does the convicting, and I usually don’t have to say a word about it. Homosexuality is a symptom, not the root problem.
You see, the Target issue is much more than showing love, reaching the lost, or being tolerant…
Now let me remind you…God is love. Jesus is love. No one in Jesus’ day had to question whether He loved them. Love is Who He is. Jesus’ love was evident to everyone around Him. It permeated from Him. And yet He would tell the sinner, “Go and sin no more.” He lovingly rebuked those who chose to continue living in their sins.
Now, we have to be careful that we express sincere love to someone before we address a sin issue in their lives. Remember, we are always more effective when we’re a listening friend rather than a condemning judge.
But again, the Target issue is much more than showing love, reaching the lost, or being tolerant…
Let me explain…I can freely show love and compassion to the lesbian women and girls in the prisons, but I would not feel comfortable with them being close friends of my teenage daughters. Not without a life change. We reach out and minister to many men in the prisons who are addicted to pornography and have even molested others, yet obviously we use extreme caution of their interaction with our daughters. I can recognize that a pedophile is deeply hurting and needs to know the love of Jesus, but I will NOT reach out in love to them at the expense of the safety of my little girls. That would be ridiculous! I will show love to those behind bars who have committed armed robberies, but obviously I will take precautions to prevent them from breaking into our home.
There’s a big difference between loving and accepting others, and allowing their ungodly actions to affect you. There’s a distinct and unacceptable line that is crossed when “loving and being tolerant” of others is abused.
My friend, let me say it again, this issue is much bigger than showing love and tolerance to others! Those who are pushing for these laws are beyond the hurting men and women who respond to sincere love and compassion. Yes, they are hurting, but there comes a time when someone chooses to become defiant against God Almighty. They cross the lines when they bully their way and do it at the expense of our children.
In the last few months, I was in an exclusive women’s clothing store when this man came in. He was obviously identifying as a “she” and was wearing nylons, high heels, a wig and lots of makeup. He began picking out clothes and started heading towards the dressing room. I did not feel comfortable going into the dressing room with my daughter and exposing her to this…so I left the store.
Just a few weeks ago, I saw this same man again. His dress and appearance again was repulsive to me. Now don’t get me wrong, I am open to reaching out to him, and I’m hoping for another opportunity. I would like to be able to show the love of Jesus to him. But I’m not going to be sharing a dressing room with him. That’s no longer love. That’s insanity!
The problem of homosexuality cannot be solved until society recognizes that it is a problem. The cure cannot be administered if the doctors deny there is a sickness. These individuals are hurting and each time a person that is cross dressing, you are witnessing a cry for help. These individuals need our help, yet we stand idle. Instead of reaching out to help them, we refuse—declaring they are fine; they simply want to be treated with equality.
These people are hurting and some of them are open to the Gospel as we reach out in love to them. But the Target bathroom issue is more about appeasing our culture rather than reaching out in love.
Let’s suppose one of our teenage daughters would begin making bad choices and start using drugs. Of course, we would be heart broken. But we would reach out in love and try to get her the help she needs. We would try to hear her heart and see what caused her wrong choices. We would continue to love her. But if she would defiantly continue using the drugs and also begin exposing our little girls to them, we’d finally say, “That’s enough. You cannot continue doing that in our house. You’ve crossed the line.”
You can show love to transgender individuals, but when the safety of others is in questions, it’s time to say, “Enough is enough. You’ve crossed the line here.” And this is what I’m telling Target by boycotting them. It’s not because I don’t have love or compassion.
This is not because of the lack of love. (I most certainly wouldn’t expend the money or time to minister to them in prison if I didn’t have love for them.) It’s simply because of wisdom, integrity and our conscience. And that’s the very thing Target and our government is wanting to take away from us.
My friend, this issue is about getting rid of the two genders that God created. It’s about taking away the rights of businesses and property owners to operate in a way that follows their conscience.
Let’s remember that true love is indicated more by giving a hurting person what they need rather than what they want. They need Jesus and His love shown through us rather than their bathroom rights. Are we reaching out in love to those who are crying out for help? We can do this without endangering our families or compromising our convictions.
~Cindy (For The Mullett Family)