What is fear? Is it an emotion or a feeling that we experience? Is it something that we will have to learn to live with since we live in a fallen and less than perfect world? Is there a way to conquer this enormous giant that wants to control us and hinder our ability to function the way that God intended for us to? Will we ever have complete freedom from fear?
I decided to write about fear because it is something that I have struggled with for a long time. Although I have learned some things that help me to find freedom from fear, I can’t say that I always walk in victory. I, however, have a much greater freedom and peace than I did previously and fear no longer controls me.
There have been numerous times in my life when fear has reared its ugly head and has threatened to engulf me in hopelessness. These times have been when our children, Austin and Alisha, were infants and were both needing heart transplants. The fear of losing them and the fear of the pain or difficulties that they may need to face in their future, was sometimes almost debilitating. After Austin was diagnosed with the ugly monster that we call cancer, fear again threatened to overtake me. What if cancer takes his life? What if Alisha also gets cancer? Since both of them were immune compromised, the doctors informed us that their risk of getting cancer was much greater. Fear can be so logical. I remember going into their rooms at night after they were sleeping and making sure that they were breathing and being so worried of what may be taking place inside their little bodies. I learned that as life was hitting me with one bomb after another, I was allowing it to shatter and cripple me. I was not enjoying the life that I was living. I was so concerned about the future and filled with all of these “what if” questions that I wasn’t able to enjoy the blessings of today. I began to determine that I was going to begin looking at life from a different perspective. (You can read more about our journey in our book, “Big Mountain, Bigger God.”)
After Austin was diagnosed with his second cancer, we poured ourselves into building up his body nutritionally and then left his healing up to God. God chose to heal him from the cancer and He chose to heal me from the disease of fear that was destroying me as well. We made sure that Austin was putting the foods into his body that were needed to promote healing. In the same way, I needed to claim God’s word and put into my mind the right things so that I could receive healing as well. When I began to walk in freedom, I experienced peace even in the midst of the storm and I learned how to walk in the blessings of TODAY! God wanted me to focus on TODAY and not even look at tomorrow. I wasn’t promised another day with my children, BUT I had them TODAY! (Matt.6:34)
As I began focusing on my blessings, I was able to thank God that my son still was granted life for today, even though his body was full of cancer. I was also able to thank God for what He was going to do in my daughter’s body when her skin disease made her unrecognizable and look like a burn victim. If we look for the blessings, we will be amazed how many we truly have and it will totally change our perspective.
When we found out that we were expecting another baby ten years after Alisha was born, we were all extremely excited. However, fear again attempted to steal our joy and excitement. It began by the ultrasound tech warning us that we were a high risk case because first, this baby may have the congenital heart condition and second, I had experienced previous miscarriages. Logically, it may have seemed crazy to take the risk of becoming pregnant, but in our hearts we felt that God wanted us to trust Him in this area. If we had allowed the statistics and even the advice from others dictate our decision, we would never have been blessed with our two precious little girls. Fear would have won! Because we chose not to walk in fear, we now get to experience our daily dose of hugs and kisses!!!
In our next post, we will discuss what the Bible says regarding conquering the fear of rejection, fear of the future, fear of death, fear of what others think of you, fear of failure and the fear of abandonment.