Dear weary Mom, let me begin by telling you, I understand…I know the bone-wearied tiredness that comes from trying not only to keep my children emotionally healthy, but also simply alive. Being the mom who lays down her life to give them the best chance of health. The mom who sacrifices to give her children the best life possible while struggling with denying herself. Trying to be there for my children when I should be. Truly WANTING to be there for them, but finding out later I wasn’t. I know the discouragement when I simply can’t meet all the needs I see.
I understand the cringe on Mother’s Day as I hear reflections of the “perfect mothers” out there who seem to be doing everything right. I long to be “that mom.” But I’m keenly aware of all the ways I’ve failed. Even just this week. The times I became impatient. Ways I selfishly didn’t feel like dealing with or resolving another issue.
But, Mom, let me assure you. I’ve searched the whole world over and have yet to find “her.” Each of us fit under the broken category. The imperfect label is appropriate for each of us. Some of us do things better in certain areas, but we’re all made up of the same brokenness. Dear Mom, please show grace to yourself and realize this. We all struggle at this thing called motherhood.
Our sweet innocent babies grow up to develop some headstrong attitudes of their own. And before you know it, issues arise. In spite of our best attempts to do everything right.
Do you realize the high and lofty calling it is just to be a godly wife? And that’s not even beginning to address the challenges of motherhood. It’s not for the faint of heart. In which other calling, does one so easily lose their own identity as in motherhood? When you become a mom, your completeness is no longer found in yourself. It’s your family.
Motherhood is hard. It’s tough. But it’s also one of the most rewarding callings God ever gives us. Don’t believe the lie that you’re the only one struggling to do it right. Don’t live in the guilt, because you’re aware of your struggles. All the other moms out there feel the same way. I don’t believe there’s a mom who feels she deserves a medal of honor for her perfection. (If she does, she’s certainly disqualified!)
Dear Mom, I know there are a hundred things screaming at you right now. Important things. And it’s threatening to consume you. As moms, we also realize that contrary to other jobs, we simply can’t afford to fail in this one. Or so we think.
But the truth is, we will fail. And it’s ok. Moms are not superhuman females sprouting wings. We won’t be able to do everything others expect us to do. Ouch. And I know how hard it can be when others have high expectations that you simply can’t or don’t have the energy to meet.
We all know the story of Mary and Martha in the Bible. Martha was a person-pleaser. But Mary was a God-pleaser. Dear Mom, give yourself permission to focus on the best rather than on the good. The hundreds of good opportunities and expectations.
Mom, the enemy of your soul is not only after you, he’s also after your dear husband and precious children. If he can keep you so busy with the good, he’ll keep you from the best. As you’re stretched above your limits, you will become tense, stressed and impatient. Because of man-pleasing expectations, you will now begin to attack those you love the most. Those God has entrusted in your care to gently nourish and instruct. Not only will he destroy your peace and joy, but also your priorities.
Moms tend to take on the identity of what’s happening in their lives. We sink with whatever area of our lives seem to be sinking. But Mom, this can be a blessing rather than a curse. A wise husband will recognize that mothers are the heart of the home. God has created us in such a way to be in tune with the needs of our family. With you being his “helpmeet”, your husband will be better equipped to lead and make decisions. But your heart will become cluttered, frustrated and confused if you don’t guard it. Protecting your heart includes decluttering your schedule and life.
Dear weary Mom, someone has said…“Motherhood takes the strength of Samson, the wisdom of Solomon, patience of Job, the faith of Abraham, insight of Daniel and the courage of David.” I would add to this by saying it also takes the agape love of God.
Motherhood is the biggest task you will ever do. You will fail. But in your failing, you will rise again. You will continue coming back to the heart of your Father. Mending your ways and growing in grace. Gently leading your young. This is what your children will see. And it is the greatest gift you can ever give them.
Surrender to the Father.
Each of us can do this. We are qualified. We are loved.
Let’s rest in Him.
~Cindy (For The Mullett Family)
“The mother’s heart is the child’s schoolroom.”
Henry Ward Beecher